Algorithms can work against us when someone is pulling the strings behind the curtain. I think our reading lives— or better said, the use of our time— is too important to leave to algorithms.
One way to fight this is to be intentional about the use of our time, do the research and only read what is beneficial.
Another option is to make the algorithms work for you.
My top pick for a resource to use algorithms to find personalized book recommendations is The StoryGraph and the most important factor is to tailor your input to get the best results.
Besides The StoryGraph, I’ve listed what I like and don’t like about websites that use algorithms to recommend books.
According to Bookriot, “if you’re someone who is only interested in keeping up with the newest bestsellers, Goodreads is great. However, if you’re more interested in finding specific books that you know you’ll love, Storygraph is by far the better option.”
This is huge for me. They are reader submitted, with three levels–graphic, moderate and minor. There’s also a place for author submitted content warnings.
The different moods of a book are rated– such as reflective, sad, emotional or inspiring. This is wonderful info to have about a book.
It’s nice to know about the pace of a book, whether it’s slow moving or fast moving.
Information about character and plot. Are the characters likable? flawed? Was the ending sad?
It has short ratings and full reviews.
It’s not associated with Amazon or Goodreads.
You can transfer Goodreads data over to your StoryGraph account.
Possibilities for good recommendations is higher, in my opinion, especially for fiction. When you’re reading to escape or relax, different factors are important than when you’re reading to learn.
Most of their recommendations don’t feel like a good fit for me. Maybe I don’t have enough data in with 73 books rated or maybe I wasn’t strategic enough about the books I chose.
Readgeek has a beta after the name, which could mean that bugs and glitches are still being worked out.
Amazon Best Seller Ranking, so you can see how well the book is selling.
Author Bios.
Reader reviews, specifically how high the books are rated and what people have to say about them.
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The bottom line is that the more precise information you feed your algorithm, the better it will work for you. Mixing more than one person’s preference will mess with the results.
Another good strategy for finding books you love is nailing down your favorite book genre. Read my step by step here.
Have you ever found yourself at the end of summer with regrets? The projects you wanted to do unfinished or wrapping up vacation just as tired as when you left? What can you do at the front end to insure you have the best summer ever?
1. Acknowledge Your Season
Parents of young children are going to have different summers than empty nesters. Caring for family members with a serious health issue changes everything. You could be in a healing season or a grieving season or maybe growing, recovering or surviving. Extend grace to yourself if you’re currently in a season that is less productive.
2. Define Your Roles
Steven Covey, in his classic Seven Habits of Highly Effective People recommends organizing your life based on your roles. For example, employee, parent, daughter, spouse, self. Each role then has it’s goals and priorities.
3. Make your Summer Smaller
Break your summer up into sections. This is advice from Kendra Adachi author of The Lazy Genius Way. Don’t look at the summer as a whole, but in pieces. Like from now till the wedding. From the wedding till vacation. From vacation till school starts again.
Each section can be treated as a separate unit.
4. Decide What Matters for Each Section
More advice from Kendra Adachi.
You get to decide what matters for you.
Start with what could matter. Make a list of everything.
From that list you decide what does matter.
Pray for wisdom. This is my added step, but one that I’ve come to believe in. God promises to give us wisdom when we ask. Believe that He has given it and make your best decisions.
Finally, choose what matters most.
When you focus on what matters most you deliberately choose what will be neglected.
5. Include Rest and Refreshment in One Section of the Summer
Maybe that will be on vacation or maybe it won’t. Maybe the highest priority on vacation should be quality time as a couple. Or reconnecting with extended family. Or teaching the kids to camp. Or investing in friendships.
Maybe your season in the summer for rest and refreshment will be the section after vacation. Or even after summer is over. Maybe your work is seasonal and summer is your busiest season, meaning the money you make in the summer finances a January vacation.
6. Incorporate Reading to Learn, Escape, Reduce Stress or Connect
You knew I was going to say it, didn’t you? I believe in summer reading for a multitude of reasons.
Yes, it’s great to sit by the pool and read. It’s great to pop in an audio book for road trips. Or read books as a deep dive in a new area of interest. Sometimes summer opens up pockets of time that aren’t available any other time of year. Lean into it!
7. Assign Resources to Priorities
After you’ve named what matters, schedule your time, money and other resources (like employees, kids or volunteers) to your priorities. Budget your time the way you budget your money, making the biggest allocations to the highest priorities.
8. Execute the Plan
Now it’s time to pull it off. Don’t be afraid to pivot if things go awry. Naming what matters helps you follow the compass. When you veer off course, you can regroup, adjust and head back again in the right direction.
One of the biggest problems for me is learning to flex not to hold too tightly to plans and adjust to things that come up. Counterintuitively, the better I plan, the easier I find it is to pivot.
When you teach empathy to kids, you solve a host of other problems.
Have you ever wondered how to get kids to share? How to get them to be kind to one another? How to stop bullying? The missing character trait here is empathy. So the next question is how to help kids develop empathy and what do books have to do with it?
Teach empathy by choosing the right books
Teach empathy by asking questions
Teach empathy by stepping into the characters’ shoes
In that post I talk about how stories we tell kids today have changed from when I was a child. I’m not saying all change is bad, but I wonder if we’re robbing kids today of the chance to develop real compassion and empathy because our stories are tamed down.
Among stories written in this century, I recommend the books of R. J. Palacio about Auggie who has a facial deformity. These books are characterized by realistic struggles with emotional pain.
Wonder is written for school aged kids and We’re All Wonders for preschoolers.
Note: Book cover picture is an Amazon affiliate link. Clicking through to purchase benefits this site.
Teach Empathy to Kids by Asking Questions
Michele Borba wrote the book Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. In it, she outlines three steps to interact with stories to teach kids empathy.
Step 1: Ask “What if.”
Stop reading occasionally to pose questions. What if that happened to you? What if you had to decide?
Give kids a chance to stop and think about what it’s like to be that character.
Step 2: Ask “How would you feel?”
An important task here is teaching emotional literacy. Help kids learn a vocabulary for emotions.
Start with basics like happy and sad, and move on to more complex emotions like frustrated, angry, excited and afraid.
When reading picture books, point out body language and facial expressions.
Identify what the character is feeling and relate that to feelings they’ve had.
Step 3: Ask them to think about “you” instead of “me.”
A critical step in teaching empathy is the shift in focus from self-centered to other-centered.
It’s natural to think about ourselves, our thoughts, needs and feelings. It takes effort (maybe even supernatural help!) to think about others.
Note: Book cover picture is an Amazon affiliate link. Clicking through to purchase benefits this site.
Teach Empathy to Kids by Stepping into the Characters’ Shoes
Kids are concrete and literal learners. It helps to have a visual and tactile object lesson to drive home a lesson.
In Michele Borba’s book she shares the example of a mom in Liverpool who helped her kids step into the shoes—literally— of the characters from Charlotte’s Web.
She wrote the names of the characters— Wilbur, Charlotte, Fern and Templeton— on sticky notes and put them on her husband’s shoes. The kids loved standing in each shoe and describing what that character was thinking and feeling.
Finding a great book is hard. Finding your favorite book genre is harder. One problem is that books don’t have content ratings like movies. You want to avoid a bad reading experience, but you don’t want spoilers about the plot. Not only do you want one great book but a favorite book genre full of them.
This is my struggle. This is the problem that drives so many of my blog posts. We don’t like to waste our time, don’t want a bad reading experience and we’d like to have every book be a five star winner.
That’s not realistic. But, we can improve our odds by identifying exactly what we’re looking for and naming it.
How do you create your favorite book subgenre?
Identify your favorite genres
Pinpoint the top characteristics you want
Find the descriptive words to name your subgenre
Set up a group or list for your subgenre
Let people know about it
What good does it do to create a subgenre? You can build community around it. You can connect to other people. There’s probably other people out there looking for your subgenre. You can categorize books without giving spoilers. That’s a plus.
I created my own favorite subgenre.
Introducing for the first time (drum roll please)
Commendable Lit!
I’ll show you step by step how to do it yourself and tell you about mine.
Identify your favorite genres
Stop and think about your best reading experiences. Which books made you want to start over again at the beginning? Which books stay with you as move through your week? Which books transported you from your daily life to another reality?
Which reading experiences do you want to repeat or recreate?
Here’s the problem: You don’t like all the books in your favorite genre. So, what is it that makes them winners or losers?
What part of the genre would you want to throw away? Which would you like to keep?
Which authors do you love? Why?
An ongoing problem that has driven a lot of my blog posts is the problem of finding well-written books that don’t glorify, celebrate or normalize immorality.
Finding accurate words to describe your new subgenre is key to communicating the distinctives of your subgenre.
I love word hippo as a resource for finding just the right word.
I spent some time there trying to pin down words that really describe the books I love.
When I stumbled across commendable I knew I hit the jack pot, because two uses of the word fit perfectly.
“Having or showing high moral standards” and “worthy of being recommended”.
Those are the kind of books I love to read.
I chose Lit because it doesn’t sound as high brow as literature, but still conveys the idea of works of fiction.
Voilà!
A new subgenre is born: Commendable Lit
Set up a group or list for your subgenre
Next I created a list on Goodreads and added forty some titles that I feel epitomizes this subgenre.
There are multiple ways to do this, such as a facebook group. Even a paid membership could be an option if you gain a following.
Let people know about it
The final step is to get the word out.
The internet and social media has many avenues to make this easy. Like minded readers will be on some platform that you can find and connect with them.
You know your favorite places to connect on the web. Take advantage of those or explore new platforms.
Helping kids develop empathy for others might be as simple as reading them stories.
I remember reading a story to my five year old son. It was about a little girl who gave away her favorite doll at Christmas time to a needy child. He was so moved by this act that he cried.
Seeing his tender heart touched me. I witnessed up close the power of story to teach empathy.
Empathy is about understanding the pain that someone else is feeling and joining them in their sorrow. It often leads to some action to help relieve the pain.
The amazing thing is that we can have real emotions triggered by fictional people. We can be moved to compassion and sympathy by hearing the plight of a fictional character.
Being able to crawl into the skin of another human is a critical life skill. Doing it with other people might be hard. Starting with a fictional character is easier.
The fact is, when we get lost in a story, we start to feel the characters emotions. We put our selves in their place. How would we feel if we were there in that situation? What would we be thinking? What would we do?
The pity and compassion we develop for a fictional character is real even if the character isn’t. It’s practice for having compassion for the real people in our lives. It helps us to reach out in love and sympathy and show others that we “weep with those who weep” and “rejoice with those who rejoice”.
Who can we feel empathy for? The list starts with the financially disadvantaged, physically disabled, racially different, culturally different and socially handicapped.
Some books teach these principles better than others.
Best Books for Teaching Empathy to Kids
In C.S. Lewis’ TheVoyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustace Scrubb has a lot of problems. Chief among them is that he doesn’t read the right sort of books.
It’s an easy problem to fall into. But with a little forethought and research, we can surround ourselves and our kids with the right sort of books.
What are the right sort of books?
Literary fiction, to start with.
Julianne Chiaet writes in Scientific American about a study that compared the effects of reading non-fiction, popular fiction, literary fiction or no reading at all.
After reading, “the participants took a test that measured their ability to infer and understand other people’s thoughts and emotions.”
Those in the literary fiction group scored higher than the other three.
According to the article, literary fiction “focuses more on the psychology of characters and their relationships.”
Popular fiction tends to focus more on exciting plots and less on characters’ personal growth dealing with thoughts and feelings.
Besides the genre of literary fiction, certain themes are important as well as characters who are suffering or underprivileged in some way.
I previewed a stack of books that I found referenced on the internet as good resources to teach empathy. For the most part, I was underwhelmed.
A few stood out and I included them in my top picks.
The search reminded me about stories I heard as a child such as The Little Match Girl.
It’s written by Hans Christian Andersen, the same author who wrote The Ugly Duckling and The Emperor’s New Clothes.
Note: Pictures of book covers are Amazon affiliate links. Clicking through to purchase will benefit this site.
On a cold and snowy New Year’s Eve, a poor peddler girl is unable to sell any of her matches. She can’t return home because unsold inventory will result in a beating from her father. She has lost her shoes and her feet are red and blue with cold.
She huddles in a corner and strikes a match against the wall. She warms her hands in it’s glow and imagines roast goose and Christmas trees.
She strikes a bundle of matches and imagines her grandmother in heaven beckoning her to come.
Her body is found in the morning as the angels have carried her spirit away.
I admit it. It was heart breaking then. It’s heart breaking now. Are we afraid of broken hearts? Do we think that children can not handle the harsh realities of life?
Amazingly, this is a hopeful story. It paints the picture of heaven, of a better life to come.
But it is tragic as well, certainly. A little girl so cold that she froze to death, no celebration, no feast, no warmth, no mercy and kindness.
The vivid portrayal of the poor little match girl should stir our hearts, even though the little match girl is fictional. We don’t even know her name. What we know is her suffering.
Hans Christian Anderson, in just a few words, is able to portray the heavy weight of poverty, not just physical, material poverty, but the lack of kindness and compassion in a young child’s life.
Our sense of justice is offended by the unfairness of it all. No one should have to suffer the way the little match girl did.
Someone should have had pity on her.
Stirring up emotions for a fictional little girl is the beginning of empathy. It’s a short jump from feeling emotions towards a fictional character to feeling emotions for real people. They are actually the same emotions.
Maybe we shouldn’t be afraid of telling stories to kids that will produce a real emotional response.
5 Best Picture Books to Teach Empathy to Kids
1. Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle
Little Blue Truck is a friendly sort, but he really shines when the big dump truck gets stuck in the mud and he rallies his friends to help him out.
2. Bear Feels Sick by Karma Wilson
Illness in a friend is a good time to flex those empathy muscles. Bear’s friends reach out to care for him when he’s sick.
3. We’re All Wonders by R. J. Palacio
Auggie has a significant facial deformity, but the message of this book is that we’re all more alike than we are different.
4. The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
Taylor’s huge creation made of blocks is destroyed, making Taylor sad. Different animals stop in, each with their own approach to help, but Taylor appreciates it most when Rabbit just listens.
5. Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Pena
CJ and his Grandma ride the bus home from church and he wonders why they don’t have a car, why he doesn’t have an iPod, why they get off in the dirty part of town. His grandmother helps him see the beauty and blessings of life.
6 Best Chapter Books to Teach Empathy to Kids
1. El Deafo by Cece Bell
A graphic novel that tells how Cece, a hearing impaired girl, deals with devices that help and relationships that are complicated by her disability.
2. The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
When Wanda is ridiculed by her classmates for wearing the same faded blue dress to school every day, she claims she has a hundred dresses at home. Her classmates learn too late the importance of kindness.
3. Wonder by R.J. Palacio
August Pullman was born with a facial deformity. Homeschooled till the fifth grade, Auggie is starting school for the first time. How can his mom, dad and sister help him navigate the social land mines of middle school?
4. The War that Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley
In London during World War II, children were sent to the country to flee the air raids. But for ten year old Ada, who has a twisted foot and a cruel mother, joining her brother to leave home is a chance at a new life.
5. A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park
Tree-ear is an orphan who becomes a potter’s apprentice in ancient Korea. He learns how to give and receive kindness.
6. A Place to Hang the Moonby Kate Albus
William, Edmund and Anna are recently orphaned siblings who are evacuated from London during the war. Their commitment to each other and longing for a real family drives this heart warming story.
Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening—the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.
One slipper was nowhere to be found; the other had been laid hold of by an urchin, and off he ran with it; he thought it would do capitally for a cradle when he some day or other should have children himself. So the little maiden walked on with her tiny naked feet, that were quite red and blue from cold. She carried a quantity of matches in an old apron, and she held a bundle of them in her hand. Nobody had bought anything of her the whole livelong day; no one had given her a single farthing.
She crept along trembling with cold and hunger—a very picture of sorrow, the poor little thing!
The flakes of snow covered her long fair hair, which fell in beautiful curls around her neck; but of that, of course, she never once now thought. From all the windows the candles were gleaming, and it smelt so deliciously of roast goose, for you know it was New Year’s Eve; yes, of that she thought.
In a corner formed by two houses, of which one advanced more than the other, she seated herself down and cowered together. Her little feet she had drawn close up to her, but she grew colder and colder, and to go home she did not venture, for she had not sold any matches and could not bring a farthing of money: from her father she would certainly get blows, and at home it was cold too, for above her she had only the roof, through which the wind whistled, even though the largest cracks were stopped up with straw and rags.
Her little hands were almost numbed with cold. Oh! a match might afford her a world of comfort, if she only dared take a single one out of the bundle, draw it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. She drew one out. “Rischt!” how it blazed, how it burnt! It was a warm, bright flame, like a candle, as she held her hands over it: it was a wonderful light. It seemed really to the little maiden as though she were sitting before a large iron stove, with burnished brass feet and a brass ornament at top. The fire burned with such blessed influence; it warmed so delightfully. The little girl had already stretched out her feet to warm them too; but—the small flame went out, the stove vanished: she had only the remains of the burnt-out match in her hand.
She rubbed another against the wall: it burned brightly, and where the light fell on the wall, there the wall became transparent like a veil, so that she could see into the room. On the table was spread a snow-white tablecloth; upon it was a splendid porcelain service, and the roast goose was steaming famously with its stuffing of apple and dried plums. And what was still more capital to behold was, the goose hopped down from the dish, reeled about on the floor with knife and fork in its breast, till it came up to the poor little girl; when—the match went out and nothing but the thick, cold, damp wall was left behind. She lighted another match. Now there she was sitting under the most magnificent Christmas tree: it was still larger, and more decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door in the rich merchant’s house.
Thousands of lights were burning on the green branches, and gaily-colored pictures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down upon her. The little maiden stretched out her hands towards them when—the match went out. The lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher, she saw them now as stars in heaven; one fell down and formed a long trail of fire.
“Someone is just dead!” said the little girl; for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now no more, had told her, that when a star falls, a soul ascends to God.
She drew another match against the wall: it was again light, and in the lustre there stood the old grandmother, so bright and radiant, so mild, and with such an expression of love.
“Grandmother!” cried the little one. “Oh, take me with you! You go away when the match burns out; you vanish like the warm stove, like the delicious roast goose, and like the magnificent Christmas tree!” And she rubbed the whole bundle of matches quickly against the wall, for she wanted to be quite sure of keeping her grandmother near her. And the matches gave such a brilliant light that it was brighter than at noon-day: never formerly had the grandmother been so beautiful and so tall. She took the little maiden, on her arm, and both flew in brightness and in joy so high, so very high, and then above was neither cold, nor hunger, nor anxiety—they were with God.
But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor girl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth, leaning against the wall—frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and stark sat the child there with her matches, of which one bundle had been burnt. “She wanted to warm herself,” people said. No one had the slightest suspicion of what beautiful things she had seen; no one even dreamed of the splendor in which, with her grandmother she had entered on the joys of a new year.
Every week, every year we face something. It could be a financial battle, a health struggle, a relationship conflict, a career shift or trouble at work. It might be a mess to clean up or a bad habit to break.
To live means to confront problems.
Sometimes we get stuck and don’t know how to move forward.
In my experience, there are repeatable steps for making progress to overcome life’s problems.
I see six important steps.
But the process isn’t always linear.
In other words, finding out what doesn’t work is as important as figuring out what does. Which means some things you try will fail, but it doesn’t mean stop trying.
Even if you are moving at the pace of three steps forward, two steps back, you still are making incremental progress.
Pray for wisdom
A pastor we knew growing up was asked how he made decisions so easily and confidently.
He replied, “God promised to give us wisdom when we ask, so I ask Him, believe that he has given it to me and make the best decision I can.”
This is comforting when we’re up against difficult decisions.
List all the symptoms
Start with symptoms. Something is causing distress or pain.
This is the starting point.
This is how we know there’s a problem.
What exactly are the symptoms?
Anxious thoughts that keep you from sleeping? Headaches, stomachaches, back pain? A feeling of dread when you wake up on Monday morning? Loss of interest in hobbies or enjoyable pursuits?
List each symptom.
Correctly diagnose the problem
Not all similar symptoms point to the same root problem.
A correct diagnosis is key to a good solution.
One of our kids had trouble reading when they started school. Our first step was to take him to an eye doctor. His eyes were fine.
It took a few years of investigating and consulting before we had the diagnosis of dyslexia.
This step is critical and not always easy.
Find the experts with the best solutions
With the internet at our fingertips, it’s easier now than ever to find experts.
Realize that different experts are going to take different approaches to solving your problem.
When evaluating an expert, independent reviews are important for determining credentials and helpfulness.
Implement solutions
The final step is to execute the solutions, put them into practice.
Most likely, not everything is going to work perfectly the first time. Maybe you haven’t found the right expert yet. Maybe you haven’t found an approach that works for you.
Keep searching.
Celebrate progress
This is an easily overlooked step. I know because it’s easy for me to overlook it.
But it’s so important to take some time to acknowledge how far you’ve come and celebrate.
Don’t wait for the final victory, but celebrate the small wins as well.
How does this work in real life?
An important element here is that you don’t wait for a final victory to celebrate. You celebrate small wins.
Let’s say you’re considering a career change.
What are your symptoms?
You’re bored at work, or unmotivated. Or maybe you’re frustrated with bosses and coworkers or just feel out of step with the organization.
Maybe you have headaches at the end of the day or a feeling of dread as the weekend comes to a close and it’s time to go back to work.
Possibly a knot in your stomach when you encounter certain people or situations.
These are all symptoms that could have a variety of root causes.
After you’ve listed all the symptoms, how do you correctly diagnose the problem?
There’s not necessarily one answer to that. Maybe you need a consultation with a career counselor, a mentor, a sympathetic boss or colleague.
Maybe it’s just you, God and your journal. Maybe you need to confide in a trusted friend or your spouse.
Analyze the symptoms and determine what it adds up to.
Burnout?
The need for more training?
A position or schedule that fits you better?
Staying where you are but recommitting to lifestyle changes to improve your physical health?
A pivot in your field?
Something totally new?
Once you’ve pinpointed the problem, it’s time to track down some experts who can help you.
Who can train you in a new field?
Who should help you navigate burn out?
Who can come alongside to wade through relationship conflict with you?
Who has the expertise to advise concerning lifestyle changes?
Finding an expert might not be a one and done proposition.
Someone you begin the journey with might be only able to take you so far. Or you could find out that you are not in alignment with the values of your expert.
Maybe you are facing a multi-faceted problem that needs the help of multiple experts.
It might take a lot of false starts before you find the expert with the resources to help you. Don’t lose heart. Finding out what doesn’t help is helpful, too.
The next step is implementing solutions.
Possibly this will mean three steps forward, two steps back. Stick with it. Work the program, take the advice. Experiment to find what will work for you.
Stay with it long enough to see results.
Don’t forget to celebrate your successes.
This journey has not been easy. Make the effort to stop and acknowledge and celebrate the wins.
I look back and see this progression in dealing with my health. It has been almost a decade of seeing slow progress after a couple decades of dealing with frustrating symptoms.
I’ve investigated. I’ve tried different approaches. I’ve seen changes. I keep trying, keep experimenting, keep implementing more of what’s working.
I’m so glad to be where I am now.
I’m so glad I continued to pursue answers after doctors, tests and experts weren’t helping. I’m glad I kept fighting and I’m grateful for the slow progress I’ve made for improved health.
I feel healthier, happier and more hopeful this winter than I have other years. I’m grateful for that.
What hasn’t changed is the love, mercy and salvation from an unchanging God.
So, what’s new?
Bubble Machine
I spend a lot of my week babysitting our five grandchildren. Next week, our youngest grand daughter joins the crew after her mom’s maternity leave.
Babies in general haven’t changed much since I quit having them 24 years ago, but their gear sure has.
I thought I needed to go back to school for an engineering degree to figure out how to put the car seats back together after washing the cloth covers.
The pack-n-play is an incredible invention that I love and use a lot. But it took repeated trainings and practice to get that thing set up and folded back down. The same applies to the umbrella stroller that I like to carry in my trunk.
I like my child’s size picnic table for feeding kids and the foldable step stool that fits under the sink.
But, my favorite gadget right now is the bubble machine.
Whoever came up with that one needs a prize. A simple fan blowing on revolving bubble wands and a repository to hold the bubble soap. All the elements for a lot of fun and Grandma doesn’t get light headed from blowing all her own bubbles.
Bible Gateway
Usually first thing in the morning, I spend time praying and reading scripture or devotional thoughts.
A few devotionals are my favorites— Jesus Calling, My Utmost for His Highest and New Morning Mercies.
In addition to devotionals, I also like to pull up Bible Gateway. The website includes the full text of the Bible, available in multiple versions.
I love having so many versions of the Bible to choose from. I usually pick the NIV or ESV.
The daily verse is often just what I need, helpful and encouraging. I like expanding the verse to the whole chapter to read it in context and sometimes continue on to the next chapter or two.
I use the free version, but there is also a paid version that includes more study helps.
Watercolor Painting
I started a new hobby that I can do with my grandkids, though to be honest, I find it more refreshing to do by myself.
The grandkids old enough to paint are 2, 3 and 4 and they tend to mix the colors, and not in an artistic way.
Sometimes when the younger siblings are napping, the 4 year old and I will watch a you tuber show us the basics of some easy landscapes. She has her paints and I have mine.
I’ve taken a few steps up in quality of paint, brushes and paper (thanks to Christmas gifts), but made a lot of progress with the standard watercolor paint set sold at WalMart for under $2.
When our kids were growing up and showing an interest in something, we often would dip our toes in at the shallow end with a low cost start up to find out if it was an enduring interest or a passing fancy.
Our oldest started out with a drum pad and sticks for awhile before he moved on to a snare drum, then beginner’s kit, then a full, high quality (used) drum set.
This principle has worked well trying out watercolor painting as a hobby.
The Metabolism Reset Diet
Improving my health since finding out I had Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis has been an ongoing, slow progress journey.
Some things I’ve tried don’t make much difference. Others cause a significant change.
Some supplements are noticeably helping and I see a return of symptoms when I’m not taking them.
One thing that has moved the needle in a dramatic way is the metabolism reset diet.
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I found out about the book through Izabella Wentz, the Thyroid Pharmacist, who’s advice and recommendations I’ve found to be the most helpful in my journey.
But The Metabolism Reset Diet is not just for people with Thyroid Disease.
The author, Alan Christianson, created this diet to be a 28 day gentle liver cleanse.
In short, the diet is two replacement meal smoothies a day, plus a meat and veggie supper with some carbs. High protein is recommended for every meal and each smoothie also includes some resistant starch such as canned white beans.
I’ve done three rounds of the diet at this point.
The most subjective difference has been weight loss—not a lot but more than my other attempts to lose weight.
There’s also been a noticeable increase in my energy and my emotional health has been better.
I’ve also noticed a decline in other symptoms of Hashimoto’s.
Sticking to this restrictive of a food plan isn’t easy and it took a desperation to see more improvement in my health to stay with it.
This has been the best winter for me health wise in over a decade. Even though progress has continued at a snail’s pace, it feels good to be here.
The bestseller game is surrounded by myths and misconceptions. Understanding how it actually works can help you be realistic about the goals for your book.
What is true about the bestseller game? The big lists don’t accurately reflect book sales, lists are made of books that sold a lot of copies in a short amount of time, authors need to do their own promotion, self published books can sell a lot of copies, not every best written book becomes a bestseller and stacks of books in a store don’t always indicate a best seller.
The NYT Bestseller List does not accurately reflect book sales
The most misunderstood aspect of bestseller lists is that they are not lists of books that actually sold the most copies. How can this be? One reason is that it’s hard to get accurate data of how many books actually sold.
Nielson BookScan, a independent company that tracks book sales, only is able to collect about 75-85% percent of all sales. They don’t track sales from stores like Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club and self published books. Some lists, like the Wall Street Journal list, are based on this information.
The New York Times bestseller list, on the other hand, is based on sales reports from hand picked retailers. What’s wrong with this picture? Obviously, your results will be skewed.
You need a lot of books in a short amount of time to hit the big lists
Timing of a book launch matters. In order to hit one of the big lists, you have to sell a large number of books in a short amount of time. How large is large? 5000 to 20,000. How short is short? One week to one month, depending on whether you’re shooting for a weekly list or monthly list.
The thing about a book launch is that all the pre-orders for the book count on the release date of the book, so they all are counted in the same week. If pre-orders plus sales during the week of release are high enough, your book could hit a list.
That’s one reason why pre-orders are so important.
Another reason is that it tells publishers, distributors and retailers how much interest there is in a book before the release. The whole machine works better if there’s clues to how well the book will do.
Authors will have to do their own promotion
A common myth believed by aspiring authors is that once they sign a contract with a publisher, the publisher will do all the book promotion for them.
The reality is that the traditional publishers do little to promote emerging authors and are looking for authors who already have a following.
Another reality is that name recognition matters. It doesn’t even matter why, as celebrity memoirs will attest.
One of the slower ways to build a name for yourself is to write. The bottom line is if you want to sell books, you have to become known. Somehow, you need to build a platform so that people can get to know you and your work.
The good news is, that living authors are more connected to their readers than ever before. There are channels available today that make it possible for readers to connect with authors.
The other sad truth is that readers will not automatically find the authors they want, the algorithms will push the acceptable books and the demands of life just doesn’t leave readers enough time to do the leg work to find the right books for them.
Can a self-published book become a best seller?
Getting an agent and pitching your book to a traditional publisher used to be the only way to sell a lot of books. That’s not true today. Self publishing and independent publishers are changing the game. Take the case of Hal Elrod and The Miracle Morning. He’s sold two million copies of his self published book. Now there’s no doubt that he’s good at marketing, that he’s passionate about his message and he’s driven to get it out into the world. But, the point is that he did it without a publisher.
If you write a best seller, it will become a best seller
First of all, best selling books are not the best written books, nor the best books at all. They’ve just sold a lot of copies in a short amount of time and hit a list. Getting on a list gets attention. That makes them well-known and gives them credibility so they sell more copies.
Book sales are not based on the quality of your work. Sad, but true.
Stacks of books in a store doesn’t equal sales or popularity
It’s easy to (wrongly) assume when you see large stacks of a title in a store that’s an indication that it’s popular or selling a lot of copies. That might be true. But, it might not. I know this from my own experience as a book seller. The truth is, book sellers can return big stacks of books that sat in their store but didn’t sell.
Of course, someone ordered them to begin with because someone thought they would sell. But just because they disappear doesn’t mean they’ve been sold.
Another lesson learned from inventory is that some types of books sell better than others. Avid fiction readers often don’t have the budget to keep up with their reading habits. Libraries fit the bill better for them than bookstores.
Some books, like devotionals, non-fiction books that you want to study, write in and mark up and gift books actually sell multiple copies. Books used in classes or Bible studies sell in bulk. If you want to sell a lot of copies, write those books.
Why is is important that parents read to their children?
Academic reasons
There are so many great academic reasons to read to kids.
Studies show that reading to kids builds their vocabulary. One reason for this is that high quality picture books uses a richer and more varied vocabulary than conversation. So kids encounter words and concepts in books that they would not ordinarily hear. They also hear them in context and absorb the meanings of words without being taught them directly.
A larger vocabulary is linked to academic success. In fact, most standard IQ tests, which were originally created to predict academic success, revolve around testing how much vocabulary a child knows.
Reading to kids also helps them gain a greater understanding of how language works— correct grammar will sound right, even if they can’t articulate any grammatical rules.
Finally, reading to kids, if it’s a positive experience teaches kids to love books, to love stories and to share stories with the people you love.
Emotional reasons
I admit it. Footie pajamas and a damp, cuddly kid listening to a bedtime story ranks among my favorite pleasures in the world.
I had an epiphany a while back that maybe one reason why reading to children is such a bonding experience is that it recreates the intimacy of a mother nursing her baby. Lap sitting or an engrossed child pressed up against an adult reading a story is an emotionally close experience.
It also communicate love and safety.
It quiets a child who has been playing hard before nap or bedtime.
It also creates shared memories between the generations.
Spiritual reasons
Studies show that one of the best ways to teach empathy to children is to read to them. Relating to a character in a story helps them to feel compassion to someone less fornunate than themselves.
Besides empathy, there’s other values and virtues that are taught through good books.
It’s also a great way to teach your children the foundations of the faith that you want to pass on to them.
Why is important for parents to read to their kids? There’s academic, emotional and spiritual benefits.
Ten minutes feels doable. Even on the busiest days, there’s usually a way to squeeze in 10 minutes of reading.
Even on the busiest days, it’s often possible to squeeze in 10 minutes for reading.
And 30 hours a year is significant. You can get through a lot of books in 30 hours.
As long as it enjoyable to parent and child
This is the time when the magic of the Venn Diagram comes into play. Remember the Venn Diagram? The key is in the overlap. Make the effort to find books that you enjoy and the ones that they enjoy. As much as possible, ignore everything that doesn’t fit in that overlap.
If you don’t look forward to reading to them, if it becomes a chore, then you’ll start avoiding it. Make it fun for you. Make it fun for them.
How much should parents read to their kids?
Ten minutes every other day
As long as it’s enjoyable for both parties
When should a parent start reading to their child?
It’s (almost) never too early and it’s (almost) never too late.
You can definitely read to a baby in utero. The sound of mom and dad’s voice is important to the baby pre-birth.
I’ve also heard that 4 months is a good age to start.
But, it’s kind of like the best time to plant a tree. The best time is years ago. The second best time is right now.
Life’s too short to spend time on regrets. Start where you are today and move forward.
If I took a road trip with my adult children now, I wouldn’t hesitate to read to them. Of course, the magic ticket is finding something that everyone in the car likes. It’s worth putting in some time and effort to find that something. Do the work and bring along several options, so you can abandon the one that you thought was a winner, but really wasn’t.
When is a good time to read to kids?
Before nap time and before bed time are great times if that works with your schedule and energy level.
In the car is a great option, if you’re not the driver or play an audio book if you are.
When school work is done. When I was home schooling, read aloud time was the favorite time of the day for teacher and students. We saved it as a reward for finishing everything else.
What are the obstacles of parents reading to their child?
Bored with repetition
What do you do when your child wants to read the same books over and over again and you’ve had it with those books?
Don’t forget you’re taller than they are. You can hide those books in a high place. Ha. Of course, they will remember them and keep asking for them. That’s the time for distraction. You can do the research to introduce the new books that will capture their attention.
This is another time when the magic of the Venn Diagram comes into play. The books that you enjoy and the ones that they enjoy. As much as possible, ignore everything that doesn’t fit in that overlap.
Too tired to read
When my grandkids started coming to Grandma’s for sleepovers, I looked forward to reading them bedtime stories. I underestimated how tired I would be at the end of the day. I was ready for bed before they were. Sometimes I pushed through and read anyway— just one book, but sometimes I gave up.
Kids wear you out. It’s a real thing.
What can you do?
Make reading before nap time a ritual instead of before bedtime.
Put on an audio story at bedtime.
Put the kids to bed earlier.
Keep working on your health— diet, exercise, rest— to have more energy.
Eliminate lesser priorities from your schedule for now. Concentrate on the most important. This is important.
Lack of information about good books and books that push agendas
Unfortunately, there are children’s books with hidden agendas. It’s not always obvious going in which books they are and what the agenda is.
You will have to do some homework if you are concerned about what your child is reading. It might be just finding trustworthy book lists, like the ones at Read Aloud Revival. Redeemed Reader book reviews is another good resource.
There was once an emperor who loved nothing better than dressing in the most elegant garments.
Knowing this, two scam artists approached him with an offer to make him the finest clothes he’d ever had. They would make the clothes of magic cloth that would appear invisible to anyone who was foolish or incompetent.
The emperor agreed and commissioned them. As the work progressed, and the artists pretended to weave cloth, cut it and sew it, emissaries of the emperor were sent to inspect the work. Each one, for fear of looking foolish or incompetent, propagated the farce.
Eventually, the emperor, afraid of looking foolish or incompetent, put on the invisible, weightless garments that he pretended he could see.
He paraded through the streets among the people who were afraid to admit they could see no clothes. Finally, a small boy in the crowd shouted out, “He has nothing on.”
This awakened the crowd. They all agreed. Fear no longer paralyzed them from speaking the truth. “He has nothing on!” they all shouted.
The emperor colored from head to toe when he realized that his fear of looking foolish had led to his own public humiliation.
